Some people find it easy to explode into a rage and let it all out, and indeed this can be therapeutic sometimes. Others hide their frustrations and keep the anger inside where it can build up for years.
Gabor Mate says in his book “When the body says no”:
“The repression of anger and the unregulated acting-out of it are both examples of the abnormal release of emotions that are the root of disease.”
What he is saying here is that a healthy release of anger is immediate and without anxiety. When someone is angry and somewhat out of control the anger is really a large volume of anxiety oftentimes because we are angry at a loved one and while angry, we are also repressing the anxiety of the break in the relationship.
When we suppress these angry emotions especially with family and loved ones, we are setting up the body to act out these emotions internally. The body’s systems, especially the Nervous system,(the brain and spinal cord and a complex network of nerves that give and receive information so that the body’s systems run smoothly), the Endocrine system,(chemicals that run the body) and the Immune system,(a network of organs, white blood cells and chemicals that work together to protect your body from viruses, etc that attack and weaken the body), act as a fuse board.
When too much energy/impulse/effort is pushed along any of these 3 key systems then the Body says no by literally blowing up into disease.
In her book “Not about being Good”, Subhadramati, a Buddhist Nun wrote:
“The universe is structured in such a way that the consequences of a conscious action relate to the volitional (relating to the use of one’s free will),impulse behind the action. So if you act skilfully, that is from awareness and unselfish intentions, you will generally speaking feel enriched and expanded. You will feel more connected with others and experience pleasant feedback from your environment……On the other hand if you act un-skilfully, that is from unawareness and selfishness, you will generally speaking feel impoverished and cramped. You will feel isolated from others and experience unpleasant feedback from your environment. And crucially you will have reinforced the habits of unawareness and selfishness”.
I don’t expect you to get this all-in-one go, it has taken me 40 years to have any decent understanding of the concepts myself.
The bottom line is if you do feel aggrieved, then take a step back, and assess the situation, get your knowingness and awareness up, then with a cool head give your truth and don’t keep your anger in, but understand that if you are excessively angry, then some of it could have to do with yourself.
It may seem at times that a bully is getting away with it but remember that bully is being unaware and selfish and will have consequences in the future.
Tips:
1) Keep your awareness focused on your goals and it’s ok to hit a cul de sac from time to time.
2) Listen to your body, do you feel anxious, if so, act by taking a walk or get in communication with a good friend.
3) Come to, Get Back Health, this week and get your nervous system realigned. You deserve to be in the best shape possible so you can act skilfully in life.
Yours in Health
John Keane
Spinologist